Parenting is tough and for some children, nothing their parents do seems to ever be good enough. If you are raising your child to get an education, you also need to be raising your child to learn good work ethic. These parents did the best they could to provide for this boy turned grown man who insisted on not growing up and taking responsibility for his own life. Even if you are wealthy, you should still find ways for your children to earn their keep. Because that is your money, not their money. That’s your success as the parent not their success as the child. So it’s okay to set them up financially with a trust fund, but you need to make sure that child is looking for ways to earn their own Keep and to pay their own weight.
As the parent you have to be aware Of your child’s personality. There are some children who you can give everything and they will still grow up to become very independent. You have to be able to distinguish each child from the next. There are some children you really can’t do much for or they will never get off of their ass and go do anything for themselves.
Right now I know grown people who are living with their parents and refuse to work. I don’t understand how you can be so lazy And complacent. Why would you want to live with someone that was taking full responsibility for you? Why would you not want to have a job and make your own money? What kind of grown ass man depends on his father for everything And never takes initiative to do anything for himself? This guy was 30 years old.
I totally understand if you are disabled and have some legitimate reason why you cannot work. But if you don’t meet any of those criteria, you are clearly just a burden. You are literally a waste of life.
Once part of Manhattan’s social elite, a 30-year-old Princeton graduate lived off his parents, prosecutors say, spending his time surfing in the Hamptons until he killed his father over a cut to his weekly allowance.
Thomas Gilbert Jr. was found guilty Friday of murder in the second degree.
Thomas Gilbert Sr., a founding managing partner of the hedge fund Wainscott Capital, was found dead in his apartment in January 2015 with a gunshot wound to the head.
“It wasn’t until the dad started cutting off his money that the defendant decided to kill him,” said Craig Ortner, an assistant district attorney with the Manhattan district attorney’s office. “Literally hours before he was killed, (his father) further cut his allowance to $300.”
Gilbert Jr.’s attorneys did not dispute that he killed his father but said he was not guilty by reason of insanity. Jurors dismissed the insanity defense; they also found him guilty on two counts of criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree. He was found not guilty of criminal possession of forgery devices.
Gilbert, now 34, has declined to appear in person for much of his five-week trial on charges including murder and weapons possession, but he was present for closing arguments Wednesday, wearing a white button-down shirt and slacks, his gaze lowered.
Tommy, as he is known to family and friends, is being held at the Rikers Island prison.
Gilbert is a former Princeton football player who graduated with a degree in economics. At the time of the shooting in January 2015, he was 30 and unemployed, and had been receiving up to $1,000 a week from his parents.
Gilbert spent his younger years at expensive, highly selective East Coast private schools. His attorney showed jurors snippets of his grades, SAT scores and teacher reviews from high school.
“Tommy’s work — indeed his whole manner — this term has been the success story I still thrill to witness,” wrote a teacher from his sophomore year.
But, Defense attorney Arnold Levine said, Gilbert “deteriorated” around the time he began to attend Princeton.
“Nobody wanted to look at him — that background, those looks, that schooling — and say he could be mentally ill,” Levine said. “Nobody wanted to think it.”
His former therapist, Susan Evans, testified that she saw him for several years before the shooting and that his preoccupation with paranoid thoughts was “interfering” with his ability to function.
“I don’t believe he was working or ever worked during that time,” Evans said. “Earlier on, he was preparing stock summary reports for a friend of his father’s. I think that he didn’t keep that up.”
Evans recommended that Gilbert be screened for paranoid schizophrenia in the months before the incident.
Other former doctors testified that they prescribed him antipsychotic medication. Evans testified that he did not take his prescribed medications for most of the time she saw him.
Emails between Gilbert and his parents that were shown in court depict a tumultuous relationship. He repeatedly asked for money, sometimes “for a charity thing,” sometimes forwarding past-due bills from an exclusive athletic and social club for thousands of dollars to his mother.
In October 2013, Gilbert emailed his father, asking him for space.
“The more you respect my space, the more I will appreciate you!” he wrote.
Weeks later, though, he emailed his mother several times asking for hundreds of dollars for a garage, clothes and stock services. He bought a gun in the summer of 2014, prosecutors say, and a few months later, his father began discussing lowering his allowance.
A voicemail from Thomas Sr. describes his desire to foster financial independence in his son, but the defense noted that Thomas Sr. had thousands of dollars in credit card debt.
In October 2014, prosecutors say, Gilbert’s computer showed searches for websites that discussed forging checks and offered blank check templates. Some of the charges he faces stem from credit card forging devices found at his home at the time of his arrest, prosecutors say.
In November 2014, prosecutors say, his computer showed searches for websites like “Hire-a-Killer.com” and “Find-a-Hitman.com.”
Shortly after, Thomas Sr. emailed his son, telling him his weekly allowance would be reduced from $800 to $600. The day of his death, he changed his regular deposit into his son’s account to $300, bank records showed.
On Jan. 4, 2015, Shelley Gilbert found her husband on their bedroom floor in their Manhattan apartment with a gunshot wound to his head and a gun on his chest.
Minutes before, Gilbert had come in and cleared his mother out of the apartment, asking her to get him a sandwich and a drink, she testified.
Levine has argued that his client was clinically insane during the shooting. But prosecutors and their medical experts say he knew that what he was doing was wrong.
Prosecutors point to surveillance footage that shows Gilbert, wearing a hoodie and carrying a gym bag, entering his family’s posh apartment building just after 3 p.m. and leaving less than 15 minutes later.
Forensic psychiatrist Jason Hershberger, who did not personally examine Gilbert because he declined to be seen, testified that he has read Gilbert’s medical records and records related to the incident.
“I know that he shot his father,” Hershberger testified. “I know that his father was found as if he had shot himself. The gun was in his hand as if he had committed suicide. Then Thomas left the scene. He turned off the location monitor [on his phone]. He was in his home in the dark when the police came to knock on his door. He pretended he wasn’t there.”
Hershberger testified that he does not believe there is evidence to support Gilbert’s plea of not guilty by reason of insanity.
“In my opinion, anyone who attempts to conceal his behavior around a crime does so because they’re aware of what they’re doing is wrong,” he testified.
In New York, a defendant must prove their inability to distinguish right from wrong in order to win an insanity plea defense.
Gilbert was deemed fit to stand trial after undergoing four mental evaluations, one of which was inconclusive.
His attorney argues that Gilbert’s family tried to get help for his mental illness for over a decade.
“He faked being well for 12 years,” Levine said. “He didn’t fake being sick. He faked being well.”
Shelley Gilbert’s 911 call was played in Manhattan Supreme Court.
When an emergency dispatcher asked who shot her husband, she replied, “My son, who is nuts, but I didn’t know he was this nuts.