Basically he didn’t pay for the wedding venue. So she called off the wedding. Good for her.
Let’s talk about debt.
Debt sucks. It really does and luckily for me I have none. That wasn’t always the case, but it’s the case now and that’s what matters.
Entering into a relationship with someone is supposed to be a beautiful thing. The newness of it all, the excitement of things to come. But people don’t stop to think about finances.
What does his income portfolio state? Does he or she have savings? Are they responsible? Did they acquire student loans prior to meeting you? Have they filed bankruptcy before? These questions are deal breakers depending on the answers given.
You don’t think so?
In reality, what does love have to do with anything? I get it. You love him, she loves you. Blah blah blah. Yada yada yada. Let’s see how much love you have for your partner once you discover they are $70,000 in debt from student loans. They are $20,000 on debt from credit cards. They have very little savings, a car payment that’ll continue for another 3 years. Do you think it’s fair to take on THAT kind of commitment for something you didn’t cause and had nothing to do with? Yeah there are laws that basically state that debt accumulated before the marriage won’t be an issue for the spouse. That’s great. But what kind of future do you think you’d have with this person? I understand student loans. I don’t agree with them though. I don’t think anybody other than doctors and lawyers And other fields with a GUARANTEED ROI should rack up student loan debt. Why? Doctors will be able to pay it back. Engineers will be able to pay it back. Most fields though are just pieces of paper and they aren’t worth their weight. The interest you’ll pay alone is just ridiculous.
Also I don’t like the idea of owing the government. I feel education for two year colleges should be free. Basically to get an associate’s degree.
Entering into a union with someone else’s drama is a recipe for failure. Essentially you are tying yourself down and your wallets are destined for doom.
I’m NOT saying that you can’t date this person, but don’t enter into ANY contracts with them. And marriage is a contract. They need to first Get out of their mess. If they have thousands of dollars in credit card debt, find out why. What’s their income like? These aren’t invasions of privacy. These are details that you have a right to know.
Despite what Eddie Murphy showed where white people just enter into banks and cash is thrown at them, it’s not that way. That was funny though. Banks require information. They want to see check stubs, they want to know whether you’re trust worthy and pay your bills. Because money is a risk And you’re an investment.
That’s how you should view potential dates or partners. You don’t want to be the reasonable, responsible one married to an impulsive child.
I like what this young lady did. Credit karma is free. Before you even plan your family, get with your partner and go over your scores together. Check to see whether they’ve been frugal And saved, check to see if they make late payments regularly. Is their credit card debt tied to huge flat screen tv’s, a $2,000 Apple phone, a $1,000 laptop. Or was it tied to hospital bills, missed time at work for illness, where did that money go? Because that credit card is money. And you need to know what type of steward this person is over cash that isn’t theirs.
I wasn’t good always. I’m getting better and trust me, I follow my own advice. My hubby and I are both debt free. It took years to get there. We both had to grow up.
But warning. Our debt was literally under $2,000 between the both of us. Just because I did it, look at the risk. Many of you could be dating someone in a financial crisis. And you could be their way out. Frankly, I feel like people should clean up their own shit. If you want to be supportive, great. But keep your money out of it. Help them help themselves. Point them to counseling, financial planning, books on self control, etc…
When you’re gushing over how cute they are, you might want to figure out a way to bring up the money talk.