I’m starting to believe that we get what we give. Our attitude towards others is a direct reflection of our character.

I received a comment today on my blog and it was profound and thought provoking to state the least.

This person decided to bare their soul on my blog and give me the greatest gift which is LOVE. I’m so grateful to them for taking the time out of their lives to edify me. As she was telling her story I couldn’t help but wonder whether she’d received the same thing from someone else during her darkest hours.

I wondered whether she was told that she was beautiful And bright. I wonder if she was encouraged. It made me become even more real and forced me to dig deeper into myself to ask whether I’m able to give light from my sometimes gloomy experiences.

Its easy to become so self absorbed and enter a constant state of pity. But when someone reminds you that, YOU’RE NOT ALONE, that makes all the difference in the world.

It didn’t matter her background, her religion, her skin color. The only thing that mattered was the kindness that she showed to me in spite of her own troubles. It takes a mighty heart to do that.

Her comment

You’re intelligent, articulate (even with all the F bombs), a good writer, and yet you feel you’re drowning. I’m right there with you. Bankruptcy, anxiety, disability, the husband carrying the financial weight, almost losing our home because of my inability to contribute. It’s a sickening hole that makes you feel worthless, alone, pathetic and STUPID.

Stupid because I knew better, and yet look at me, all middle aged and getting fat and nothing to show for all these years of carving out an existence. Poor decisions, but also a lot of problems because of my disabilities. Invisible disabilities like yours, which are SO much fun, let me tell you. The judgement and assumptions, my own mother not believing me even though it’s all been right there in front of her my entire life, my husband’s mother telling me to just work, just get a job.

All that fun stuff.

I’m doing decently okay for someone who feels like she was born in a Milk Dud factory. I have things in my life that make me smile and keep me going, and hope is how I’m able to haul myself out of bed in the morning. But we’re broke, and I’m tired manipulating funds around and paying the mortgage late every month. It’s a scary feeling when you’re this close to the edge.

But you are so right, Ericka. Say no to the things you don’t need, be self disciplined (really hard for me), and look at what you’ve overcome. Bankruptcy was me at my lowest. This was years ago, but not so far back that it doesn’t still show up on my credit report. It was pure hell, and I was so ashamed of myself and embarrassed, and I went through it all alone. I told no one, and I still don’t talk about it, not even with my husband.

Watching that video I see good energy surrounding you. It’s right there. The year from hell is dead. It’s over, behind you, no more … toast!! You did it. And as for the car, look what you accomplished: You went and got a second opinion. When someone says you need a new engine, the only option to me would be ditch the car or start taking the stupid bus. But you were brave and bold enough to question that and now you’re going to figure out how to come up with the funds for the repair.

You aren’t drowning, girl. Nope. You are doing the saggy boobed breast stroke!!! So hoist up that sports bra and keep on keeping on. It’s painfully slow, but you’re making progress. You are getting closer to moving out of the hotel and into your own home. It will happen. Keep putting out those fires and don’t let them overwhelm you. It’s like laying one brick at a time to build a wall and then a house. You’re making progress every day.

And you are not invisible. I see you, and I think you’re beautiful, capable and an inspiration.

If I was feeling down and got this message, that could help me straighten my back more. It could help me hold my head high because somebody believed in me.

Let’s try to encourage each other. Let’s try to be positive when someone is down. You don’t know how the words that you say today can affect that persons tomorrow.

Thank you CD for being the friend that I needed. 😊

Honestly I think it’s ok to talk about your problems. We all need a listening ear. Just try to find something to be grateful for.

Oh yeah

Today’s my anniversary. Thanks WordPress for being the ONLY place I can be myself. I chose this site 10 years ago after blogging on many other sites and constantly being edited and reported And having my content deleted. I said , THAT’S IT!! I’m sick and tired of people blocking, editing, silencing my voice. Like it or not, I’ve got stuff to say and this place let’s me say it. One of the most important things we have is our voice.

Remember The power of LIFE AND DEATH is in the tongue. We must speak. We must be heard.

People may not like what you say but say it anyway! That’s my motto.