So I missed the story about the church shooting in Texas. 

I’m just waking up after a long weekend of taking care of my sick hubby and taking my daughter to Japanese Festival. So I check the news a few minutes ago to see what’s up, and this took place. 

Devin Patrick Kelly,  26 years old,  began shooting outside of the church And eventually made his way into the church where 26 people were killed. 

The headline I read that got MY ATTENTION was,  People are tired of thoughts and prayers and want action. 

Ahhhh  that is music to my Atheist Ears. I stopped dealing with Jesus a long time ago. I just got tired of the unreliable dude who never showed up when I needed him and I got kinda tired of dealing with his followers. There’s other stuff,  but you’re gonna have to read the tons of stories on my blog about my transformation from devout Christian to Heathen. 

So after seeing the headline I said,  hmmmm what’s going on here?  

So then I began to read,  Donald Trump sends his thoughts and prayers from Japan, and EVERYBODY else sending out these magical well wishes and thoughts and prayers. 

If you really knew me you’d realize I’m THE MOST compassionate, loving person you could ever meet. However,  circumstances can make me appear uncaring and insensitive. Why? I’m getting old and I’ve seen and been through too much. I honestly don’t have time to sugar coat things. I try to see things for what they really are and not what I hope or wish them to be. 

This isn’t the first church shooting right? There’s been plenty. What’s the difference here?  More bodies. And  another name attached to the headline. What do you want me to say?  “I’m sorry,  my thoughts and prayers are with the family?” 

I can’t do that. Because that’s the LEAST I CAN DO. But what can you do? What can any normal citizen do when there’s a mass shooting?  Nothing. All we do is fight about gun rights and laws. We all gather together online and become keyboard warriors. We all start thinking that we have all the answers. And none of us do. Why?  Because it’s bigger than us. Or so we’ve been told. These things are bigger than us and it’s out of our control. These things are all the plan And will of god. And that is something that we aren’t supposed to question. We Are supposed to accept things as they come and realize that God works in mysterious ways. 

I started calling bullshit. I’m not letting Jesus take the wheel. If I sink or swim, it’s up to me. I believe it’s up to us to make this world a better place. I think it’s up to us to decide the type of life that we want to live. This world belongs to us, but the majority has decided that that’s not the case and that this world belongs to a higher power. Well I’m kinda tired of placing the blame on An entity I cannot see. I can’t hear another person tell me that it’s GODS WILL that over 500 people are shot,  I’m not gonna listen to somebody tell me that rape is gods will, that god used slavery to lead blacks to Jesus. I’m not dealing with this foolishness anymore. I’m so over that. Are you? That seems to be the catch all phrase when you don’t know what to do. We have to change our hearts and minds. We have to realize that we do have power and can get things done. 

I don’t know why I’m here on earth, but I’m certain it’s not so that God can get the glory out of all the bullshit that’s happening to me. I cannot listen to the victim mentality anymore. I have to open my eyes and grow up. I have to put my big girl panties on and face the music that Is streaming in my ear. It’s up to me, it’s up to me, I have to accept responsibility for my life. 

You don’t think I’d love to have a god to depend on? Of course I do. But he’s failed me too many times. 

AND he failed those people in church yesterday who were believing in him. They were trusting him and had faith in him. They woke up with the thoughts to go to this place and worship Him. None of them deserved to die. Your faithfulness and loyalty shouldn’t get you killed. The church should be the safest place and it’s not. 

That is the ONE PLACE I’d think that God should have been. 

My point? 

Country music festival, no god, Gay club, no god, Church, no god. Nothing is stopping these mass shootings. Religious folks can argue,  God hates the sinners at the gay club, that’s why He allowed the shooting. Well what about when his own people are shot doing what they are supposed to do? They were worshiping him, so couldn’t he have stopped it? Why didn’t he?  
I’m holding on to the firm belief that nothing will be done until we drop the passive attitude towards gun laws in this country and look at other countries who have NO MASS SHOOTINGS AT ALL. Just think, it’s happening. There are countries where not one person was killed due to gun violence. How is that possible?  What are they doing that The US isn’t doing?