Alright I don’t know who created the Cameron Gamble Hostage negotiator fan club on Facebook but it’s killing me! ! These posts are so funny. I swear we could all use a little humor.
This is their most recent post.
It all started as a rare fluke mistake by our temp agency. We were looking for a full time seal trainer and the good folks over at Tenacious Temps told us they had an ideal candidate, with an extensive amount of experience working with seals.
Turns out when had they scanned his resume, their software could not tell the difference between seals and SEALS.
When he showed up for his interview wearing a matte black SCUBA wet suit, it really seemed like we were on the right track (although in retrospect it now seems odd that he repeatedly demanded to know what our Wi-Fi password was while he was waiting in the lobby for his interview).
Once the interview began we knew something was wrong. We could not get a word or question in edgewise. He immediately began telling us how he could teach us how to escape and evade from terrorists and dramatically reduce the number of patrons that were being kidnapped from our location.
We tried to explain that as far as we know we’ve never had anybody kidnapped from here, but he was incredibly passionate as he explained that most of the kidnappings that happened on our premises were not something we would be aware of because the situations “get handled outside the law by people like me”.
After he concluded his spontaneous demonstration of how to start a signal fire with steel wool and a 9 volt battery and how to repair a flesh wound with duct tape, it became clear we probably would not be using his services to train ANY of our animals.
Near the end of his interview, right after he said “I’m not afraid to get my hands a little dirty”, our Support Services Coordinator came in to prepare for our next series of interviews.
Then it hit me. We actually have a job here for this person and he is pre-eminently qualified.
An Environmental Services Technician is responsible for the safe and efficient handling and disposal of animal waste and other byproducts. He was a natural.
Since our solid waste and water filters may contain viruses, bacteria, and other microbes that cause serious illnesses, specialized training and equipment is necessary to quickly and safely clean contaminants. His ability to manipulate a garden hose, rapidly install new trash bags inside of receptacles and maintain order and discipline with our external partners in the waste transportation world became invaluable.
And he certainly did have an eye for details. If there was a change in an animals diet or some type of impending illness, he was one of the first to notice, which is quite remarkable because he was not actually in very close proximity to the animals, just their waste.
Unfortunately, over time, it became clear it just wasn’t going to work out. We have a rather strict uniform policy that must be adhered to, wearing the same light blue denim shirt every day, in spite of what messes he previously cleaned up, is just not consistent with our grooming standards.
I was very excited on Nov 22 last month to look up at the TV for a second and see what looks like his audition video for a local community theater in Northern California, where he plays the part of Mel Gibson in the movie Ransom.
Good luck Cam Cam.
Jacque Pluteau III
Sea World Corporate Recruiting