You know I’m starting to realize a lot of people don’t like me. And that’s because I’m an I Told You So person. I really am and I can’t help it. You see when I write a story or I share a story that’s in the media, it’s not just about giving the news. It’s about teaching a lesson. At least it is for me. What is the point of copying and pasting a story or repeating the same information that you’ve gotten on other sites? That’s stupid. There are hundreds of stories out there with the same content. I want to teach you something. I want to challenge you and make you think and make you consider changing if you’re fucked in the head.
A lot of women have gone through abusive relationships. I know I have. And if you actually read my blogs in full instead of the popular stories, you’d know that.
Rachael wasn’t powerless. None of us are. She’s an attractive woman who would have easily caught the eye of a good man. But what is it about her that made her choose to stay with him? He poured acid on her tattoo. He beat her. Threatened her life constantly. And like a loyal dog, she returned.
Finally she decides to break free and that’s great. But the damage is done. She has already taught him how to treat her. He has grown accustomed to kicking her ass. So when she leaves he goes through sort of a withdrawal. He needs to get his daily fix of confidence by insulting and assaulting her. But she’s not there and he grows angrier and angrier.
What is he to do with all of that anger? He has to channel it somewhere and she’s been a loyal customer. So he aims it directly at her. Because she has proven that she can take it and she can stand the test of time.
I get so tired of hearing don’t blame the victim. But really whose fault is it if you decide to stay in an abusive relationship? That’s not my fault, that’s not your mother’s fault, that’s not your children’s fault, that’s not your economic statuses fault. It’s YOUR choice.
My ex-husband was extremely abusive especially during the time I was pregnant. Mind you I’ve been married twice. So not my most recent marriage, but when I was 21 I got married. Anyway I didn’t know how I would get out of that situation. I really didn’t have anything. We had had a house built together and we shared one daughter and I had my son from a previous relationship. But the abuse got worse and worse. I swear this man hated me. The marriage did not last for two years because I packed up my shit and took my kids leaving everything behind. I got the fuck out of there. His payback for me leaving is he took our daughter and hid her. I never saw her again.
So when I tell you it can be done. It can be done. It does not matter the circumstances. You have to get out of there alive and the sooner you leave the better. Because the abuse doesn’t get better it gets worse.
A lot of women feel like ” What if I fight back? then technically I’m not being abused.” Listen to me I will kick somebody’s ass. I didn’t just stand there and let him hit me. I fought back. But imagine being 7 months pregnant having to fight your husband. Nobody has time for that.
His problems were his problems and I’m nobody’s punching bag. So you either stay and hope and pray that he will change, or you get the fuck out of Dodge.
We need to empower each other and support each other in times of crisis. I don’t know if she had friends but if she did I’m certain that they told her to leave. I’m certain that her mother and her father or her sister and her brother told her to get out of that relationship. So she had all the power and the control in the world. She just did not know it, or she chose not to utilize it. Some people like being the victim. That’s just what it is. It’s a harsh truth but some women like it rough. It seems like that’s all they understand. And when you accompany that with drug addiction or substance abuse it makes for an extremely tumultuous relationship.
Rachael deserved a better life. But Rachael got the life she thought she deserved. Something in her made her think that she couldn’t do better than him.
Story below…
Federal officials have found the body of Rachael Madison, the woman who vanished while jogging along a Florida beach last week after fleeing her estranged and allegedly abusive husband, PEOPLE confirms.
On Friday night, unidentified human remains were found in a remote area on the side of a highway in Knoxville, Tennessee. Officials announced the discovery Saturday, believing the remains belonged to the 44-year-old, though the identity was not confirmed until Monday.
Madison’s husband, Jarvis Madison, was arrested Friday morning, on an arrest warrant from Indiana State Police, for criminal confinement charges. Following his arrest, authorities acquired information that led them to the body’s location more than 200 miles away, according to the FBI’s statement.
It is unclear whether Jarvis has an attorney or has entered a plea to his charges. He currently remains in custody in Indiana. Neither he nor Rachael’s family could be reached for comment.
She went missing on Nov. 27 during a jog along the beach in Ormond-by-the-Sea, Florida, Volusia County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Andrew Gant previously told PEOPLE.
“The thoughts and prayers of everyone in the FBI are with Ms. Madison’s family, and we remain committed to finding answers through our ongoing investigation,” said Charles P. Spencer, Special Agent in Charge of the FBI Jacksonville Division, in a statement obtained by PEOPLE.
Rachael’s Family Alleges Abuse
Rachael’s aunt, Thelma Newsom, told police Rachael moved to Florida days before her disappearance to get away from Jarvis, according to a Volusia County police report obtained by PEOPLE.
On Nov. 14, Jarvis allegedly held Rachael hostage at gunpoint and fired a gun at her after finding out she wanted to leave him, the police report states.
According to the report, citing Newsom, Rachael was covered in scars from her husband’s alleged abuse — including one on her back, after Jarvis allegedly poured acid on a tattoo, and several on her neck, after Jarvis allegedly cut her with a knife.
Days before Rachael vanished, Jarvis frequently called her and her family members, threatening to kill her if she did not come back to him, the police report alleges. On the day of her disappearance, Newsom claimed Jarvis tried one last time to reach his wife, 30 minutes before she went for her run.
The couple were homeless and lived between motels in Indiana, Kentucky and Ohio, police say. They sometimes lived in Jarvis’s 2011 silver Honda Pilot.
SandraJean well put. Thank you for the love. Ditto 💗💗💗
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***SP case…
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EC 😙 I have to say yes to open discussion re this underhanded type of abuse. It’s a slow death to the soul and spirit both, is misunderstood, looked over and has caused many innocents to not be able to get back up. I can see you have been thru much in this arena, yet what draws me to return to your awesome blog often is that you took the rubble and are building a home out of it. Love it! You’re a feisty lil Momma and One heck of a slueth ( I believe from what you endured) and to be able to take having to second guess your gut during that time you now see a crafty ruse and recognize cunning at it’s best. I saw it in your first postings of the SO case before the picture became clear.Much respect and admiration. I look forward to reading all the postings and comments at the end of my day, and giggle when you bitch slap the trolls who attempt to degrade. Sending good energy your way!!!!💗
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SandraJean you brought tears to my eyes. I know that pain and the loss of identity. It’s a destroyer. The ducky cycle is so vicious because they twist things around that have you questioning yourself. You’re a brave soldier. You were wounded but you got back up. I’m so glad that you replied. It really takes us to talk about it. Hugs to you too and thank you for your compassion.
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EC, some of your statements were hard to read. Hard truths. Intimate details that make one vulnerable. I validate you. Very painful circumstances. I’ve been in bad relationships but only one that took me literally 10 x’s longer to leave than the actual relationship lasted.
I couldn’t do it. He wooed me back using all the tricks that I was not used to. Gas lighting, emotional blackmail. Love Bombing. The confusion was so bad I thought It was me. Eventually I did it, but only after he let up a bit on the tactics….because he’d already replaced me when I wasnt looking. Ha! Then I was devastated and destroyed. He got the last laugh knowing that HE abruptly severed our sick cycle. Not me. He won.
Or did he? It all but destroyed me. For 3 years I couldn’t figure out what happened but then slowly I began to see. I began to heal and the only way I accomplished that was to douse myself in the sickness He flooded me with. Every little thing he did to mess with my mind I saturated myself in until I figured it out and ruled it. Painful. Sick.
I have often wondered if I would’ve made it out of he wouldn’t have found another. Who, by the way can’t get away either 😦 My point in sharing that, (and there was violence, drugs, much fear and much more) is to also validate those who cannot break free. I’m strong. I had a dear friend help me. Some people just can’t for many reasons. As much as I want to say the opposite, some are stalked beyond control.
I’m sad you lost your daughter. Very sad. You paid the ultimate price – a price some fear so much that they stay. Hugs to you for sharing and being strong by saying what is true and needs to be heard.
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