One of the toughest ordeals to go through as a child is being bullied. Some of us were bullied and some of us were the bully.
I’m going to jump into the heat of things immediately. One of the best ways to avoid being bullied is to have a sense of self and a sense of confidence. And that is no easy task. Feeling good about yourself and understanding that there is a reason for your existence is crucial to avoid being bullied. However, most children are not equipped with this. It takes years and years to get to that place.
I don’t know what it is about our personalities that could cause someone on the outside to be able to see what we are lacking on the inside. I don’t know how they do it. But do you ever notice that? Do you ever notice that bullies know exactly who to target? It’s like there’s a detector and the bully knows what buttons to push.
In order for a person to be bullied they have to first believe what the bully is saying. If you do not believe what the bully is saying then their words will not penetrate.
That is one of the reasons why I tell my readers to please encourage your children and put positive into their lives. I don’t know what type of childhood experiences you had in school, but I remember school kids were vicious.
Blue hearts, for her “beautiful blue eyes,” are taped up and down her high school hallway.
All of them a heartbreaking reminder of a life cut short.
Vela killed herself this week, putting a gun to her chest while her family begged her not to. She was 18 years old — and she had been relentlessly bullied.
Bullied for her weight
Brandy’s sister, Jackie, says the teen had always been bullied for her weight, but the cyberbullying ramped up in April.
“People would make up fake Facebook accounts and they would message her and she wouldn’t respond and they would still come at her,” Jackie said.
“They would say really, really mean things like, ‘Why are you still here?’ They would call her fat and ugly. She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful; the only thing people could find to pick on her was her weight.”
Jackie says her sister changed her phone number and reported the bullying to police, but was told they couldn’t help her.
“They couldn’t do anything because [the suspects] used an app and it wasn’t traceable and they couldn’t do something until something happened, like they fight,” Jackie said.
‘I’m sorry for everything’
Jackie said she knew something was wrong when she got a text from Brandy on Tuesday saying “I love you so much, please remember that, and I’m sorry for everything.”
Worried, she called her parents and grandparents. They rushed home to their house in Texas City, Texas, where they found Brandy in her room with a gun.
The family pleaded with the teen not to pull the trigger. But Brandy had made up her mind.
A devastated community
Melissa Tortorici, the communications director for the Texas City Independent School District where Brandy was a high school senior, says the community is “devastated.”
“Brandy was well-liked and friendly. Texas City High School students really liked her. She has touched many people as evident by the outpouring of love from her schoolmates,” Tortorici wrote in an email to CNN.
Texas City police Capt. Joe Stanton told CNN that detectives were interviewing the family and will be contacting people the family believes are suspects. They’re also following up on several tips that came in.
In addition, sheriff’s deputies will be addressing cyberbullying again with students next week.
“Today’s young adults and teenagers have grown up with technology and they have access to it 24/7. Many times they become very bold over technology and text things they would never say directly to someone’s face,” Tortorici said.
“It’s extremely difficult to stop someone from sending messages when apps make it easy to remain anonymous.”
Tortorici said students are planning to release blue balloons in Brandy’s honor Friday.
A new reality
After she shot herself, Brandy was taken to a local hospital where she was pronounced dead. Her organs, including those eyes, were harvested.
“She had beautiful eyes,” Jackie said, adding the family hopes to meet the person who receives them.
For now, Jackie is adjusting to her new reality.
‘I’m going to miss having her be here, going into her room and laying with her and talking to her.”
Life is short and life is precious. Thats a comment from a seasoned adult. With kids, you have to feed them identity and confidence. You have to brainwash them with inspiration. We all could use a little reaffirming. But the truth is, we are all neglected. None of us are hearing how fucking awesome we are. People rarely give us a pat on the back. But we need it. Our children do too. A lack of confidence is equal to a life of inexperience. We don’t have confidence, we build it by overcoming obstacles.
The girls with the arrogant attitude and the jock with the ego doesn’t have confidence. He has vanity. But vanity is temporary. Yes its good to tell your children that they are beautiful. But tell them they are loving and kind and funny. Tell them they are thoughtful and compassionate. And if they are none of those things, then teach them.
We have to know that we are MORE. We have to feel like our life has purpose. Children need this too.
Teaching your children to ignore bullies never works. You have to teach them to fight back. Not even physically, but with intelligence and persistence. Making sure that they have goals. Helping them Keep their eyes on the prize.
Maybe every child can’t be reached. But you gotta try. And don’t be lazy. Stop looking for TV and internet to raise your kids. You gave birth to them so do your job.