Ahhh the sweet morning after a long passionate night of ground and pound and you’re still on cloud nine. Then about 10-30 days later, you are feeling a burn you’ve never felt before. And I don’t mean passion. I mean your shit burns! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

You officially have the CLAP or the Drip. Neither one of those sound good.

What the FUCK does this guy have? Lol 😂😂

Anyway after the burn I guess you are terrified, but you know you been got. You done been had. And you are all alone. The first thing you should do is go to the hospital, but nope! You gotta talk to the bitch who burned you.

You KNOW THEY KNOW THEY HAVE IT! But they act like they don’t.

Ring ring ☎☎🔊🔊🔊

“Hello.”

– ” um hey, whats up? uh I went to the bathroom this morning and my shit was burning when I peed”

” And… what you telling me for?”

– ” Well I wondered if you was burning too.”

” Uh uh, nigga don’t try me, that’s none of ya business if I’m burning or not”

👀👀😟

– “Well I ain’t never had no shit like this happen before so I asked you to see if you know anything”.

“First of all I’m not the only girl you sleeping with, so you might wanna go check T.H.O.T. And I even told you to use a condom!”

-“girl are you burning or not? Damn!”😠

“Yes! Ok it might be in my system still, damn, stop calling here with this bullshit. You done woke my baby up! You knew what it was when we hooked up. ” I told you I just finished seeing somebody.”

-😭😭😭😷😷😷

In this case just go to the doctor and own up to it. She won, she got you. You may have Gonorrhea.

Ice-Cube

 

Then there’s Syphillis and Chlamydia.Pam-NBC

Those require more detective work. Like looking at blemishes on the skin, checking people’s throats and testicals. They hardly have any symptoms.  Shit that ain’t romantic at all.

When you’re ready for getting busy with your boo, FINALLY the day has come and you say, BEND OVER LET ME INSPECT ALL OF THIS.

That’s MY method. I don’t know how to ask about this tactfully. Lol how are you supposed to say, do you have VD? (people lie, don’t try me). DO YOU HAVE ANY unsightly growths or bumps on your testicals? Is your penis hole leaking a strange fluid?

What about for men? Lol I had a lot of guy friends, that’s partially why I’m fucked up now! This one guy said that he does a “sniff test”. So I’m like, what’s that? And HE SAYS, its where you’re making out with a girl and you let your hands linger to the southern hemisphere and well, you take a little trip and explore some things, then you come up for air. DISCREETLY you bring your hands to your face and if it comes up clear… omg I can’t believe I’m telling this story. Anyway! If it comes up clean and smells nice, it’s a go. But if it comes up smelling like a Junkyard dog, then you gotta get the Hell outta there.

If it’s bad they would pretend to be sick or act like they don’t want to rush anything and that you should take your time. Lol Basically your cooter stinks and they ain’t got no time to fumble through all of your pastrami layers of funk!

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This blog is gross. Anyway onward we March!

What is a man to say? When is the last time you had a good douche? Can I see it and pretend to be a gynecologist? I bet gynecologist aren’t REAL doctors. They are scouting for the perfect vagina. I guarantee you that they have a log of the best looking dugouts around town. I bet they have town meetings where the guys get together and pick out their favorite havens.

I’m embarrassed to have written this post. I should be ashamed of myself, but I can’t because I have no shame whatsoever. But if I had it, now would be the time to use it.

Listen I don’t know who is reading this stuff, but I’m really feeling sorry for you. Especially if you thought that I was one dimensional. Lolol you fool! I’m extremely extremely serious, but boy do I have a twisted sense of humor.

I want you to take all this shit I write in stride. Keep moving with it. No venereal disease is a death sentence for the most part. I have a distant relative who has AIDS and he’s living with it. It’s been over 10 years for him. I think that the fact that people are starting to realize that death is not automatic when they catch a disease, it makes them more careless. They play harder because they feel like they have less to lose if they catch HIV. Technology is advancing, new medicines are hitting the markets, so people turn a deaf ear to the warnings. I don’t believe you should think that way though. Yeah it might be curable, but imagine the headache of living with a chronic STD. If you’re single and having to release that information to EVERY GUY you’re serious about or every girl. Is it doable? Of course, but it’s better if you don’t have to. Let’s switch gears.

Is it about my health or about your need to control what I do in the bedroom? Would you say that diseases are man made? And if so, created by whom? Now of course the religious person is most likely to say, GOD STRICKENED the gays with AIDS for having sex in the butt! Really? He’s or She’s got nothing else going on in their world but to worry about who is poking who? So god in all of their infinite supreme power cares about who you get nasty with? He hates butt sex so much that he’s willing to destroy you over it.

Well GOD, I GOT some words for you. Why the fuck did you put the Mans Gspot in his ass? If you don’t want people enjoying sex, then why did you make it feel good? You had to realize that plugging a chord in my socket would get a reaction. Why are you surprised by all these things? All these petty attempts to stop people from being human is really disgusting. All these man made ailments that punish people for loving who they love and expressing their love with their body is ridiculous. Yes diseases help catch the cheater. Yes they do deter some from being too promiscuous. But overall, it hasn’t changed a thing.

Www.webmd.com has all the information about STDS and what I need to do or symptoms to look out for. It’s a very useful site.